'Till We Grow Older // Gwen [Hogwarts Express]

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Isn't it pathetic how something so small, something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, could have such a strong hold over a person? The Ravenclaw studied the cigarette as she rolled it between her fingers, mind ambivalent. On the one hand, there was nothing as relaxing as inhaling and exhaling the smoke, but on the other hand, nothing that can eat away at you more than a nicotine addiction.

Of course, magic had its perks, and her clothes never reeked of smoke nor did her teeth turn yellow, but still... That dependence on it... She hated it. She'd always been an independent person - she needed no one to be happy, so why would she need this stupid little... Suzanne sighed. She really didn't want to return to her bible-bashing grandparents with a smoking addiction. She had been able to hide it well before, but she knew they were getting suspicious. Her mum smoked. God, she missed living with her mum.

She tore her attention away from the cig to take in a deep breath and the scenery outside. The steam train was hurtling towards London and Suzy couldn't say she missed school. Sure, the castle was great, but the work. And the people. No, thank you. It wasn't unlike Suzy to be alone in a compartment on the train, or to be alone at all. But the universe obviously didn't want to give the poor girl her way, and she turned her head to glare at the opening compartment door.

She saw who it was and groaned, turning her head back to the glass and leaning her forehead against it. "Oh, sod off, will you?" Suzy asked softly, knowing full well that she won't. Part of her didn't want her to, but the other part told her that that was stupid and stomped on it. Suzy McDonnell wasn't attached to anyone. Especially not the likes of Gwen Marie.

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Gwen headedout of the compartment she'd been in and headed down the corridor of the train. As usual, she'd been dipping about from place to place talking to the odd person here and there, saying her goodbyes and wishing various people a good summer. She'd stopped in to talk to a couple of first years who she'd been keeping up with over the year, and she'd left their compartment happy with their bright attitudes they now had and how much more confident they were about school life. Then she'd talked to a couple of seventh years from her house, finding out about their plans for what they were going to do next, and it surprised her a little at just how many of them were feeling uncertain about leaving school, though she could very easily understand how they were going to miss the place.

The compartment she'd just felt consisted of her ex-boyfriend, the seventh year captain for the Ravenclaw team. Things had been a little weird since they broke up, especially when it came to Quidditch, but they managed to get along on the pitch. Off the pitch, though, they hadn't talked sicne they'd split up. It had been a slightly awkward conversation, but they seemed to have found a middle ground and they were on friendly enough terms, even if he still seemed to be feeling a little guilty about it.

As nice as it was to know there weren't going to be any really hard terms between them, there was only so much Gwen could take of being in there with him, so she'd bid her goodbyes and fled the carriage. What she needed was something a little quieter until she managed to absorb everything that she'd just heard.

As Gwen passed a compartment with an open door, she spotted one of her room mates inside and stopped. Perfect. It was a nice, quiet compartment with only Suzy in, making it an ideal place to stop for a while. Suzy, however, groaned and turned away.

"Oh, sod off, will you?"

"Not a chance." She slid the door closed behind her and sat down opposite the follow Ravenclaw girl. "I've just been talking to Cal. I'm in need of a little down time to absorb all of that."

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Suzy's tolerance for people was not... particularly high. Of course, she'd known Gwen since their first year sharing a dorm, so she'd gotten use to her enthusiasm and horrific chattering, but that didn't mean that she liked it. But that, of course, didn't mean she didn't like Gwen, herself. It seemed that even on the most miserable of days, Gwen was there, smiling about, while Suzy just wanted to suffocate herself with a pillow from time to time. All and all, she could tolerate Gwen enough to not leave the compartment. But only just enough.

"Not a chance."

Ugh. There goes all peace and quiet.

"I've just been talking to Cal. I'm in need of a little down time to absorb all of that," she said like the other girl had the foggiest who the bleeding hell 'Cal' is. "Who's that, then, number 71?" Suzy only half joked. The school always had their theories on Gwen Marie, calling her all sorts of things, but Suzy never believed anyone's bullsh*t. Besides, the way Gwen was dressed today, she hardly looked like the raging slut everyone assumed her to be. She looked more like a Catholic schoolgirl. Suzy would have preffered raging slut. More fun. But also, Gwen probably knew Suzy well enough to know that she didn't really mean anything she said. She just sort of said things without taking the time to think it over, even if it was obviously rude to anyone who cared whether they were actually a little bit rude. Seriously, why did people spend time with her?

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"Who's that, then, number 71?"

Gwen pretended not to hear the rest of Suzy's comment. "You know, Cal in 7th year? He was our Quidditch captain this year?" Gwen was the sort of person who always had to know who everyone was and she didn't like not knowing somebody's name, so she just couldn't understand it when people didn't know the obvious people. Cal was the year above and same house, and it wasn't like he was a nobody because he's been the team captain all year. How Suzy didn't know who he was was a mystery.

Even though she'd chosen to ignore the rest of the comment that Suzy made, it didn't mean she didn't still acknowledge that it had been made. Why people always seemed to think such things of her she'd never know. She was hardly the sort who was seen with a different guy every week! She'd seen some girls around the school who seemed to be chatting up someone different every other day, so why some people lumped her into the same group as them she would never know. Sighing, she turned her concentration back to the topic at hand. "We haven't talked in... forever now. It was just so strange."

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If Suzy had been willing to use even an ounce of her concentration to think of people called Cal, she would probably have remembered the Seventh Year Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain. Besides from that, the fact that he had dated Gwendolyn and his cute bum, Suzy didn't know all that much about him. 'He must be very patient if he'd dated this chatterbox,' Suzy thought. She was pretty enough to get away with it, too. And nice enough. Honestly, she was cool and all, but not the type of person Suz'd usually hang out with. By that, she meant that Gwen was a girl, and most of her friends were the exact opposite.

Still, she was nice, Suzy couldn't hold it against her. "We haven't talked in... forever now. It was just so strange."

She would probably regret this, but... Suzy turned her gaze out of the window to the girl and raised an eyebrow. "Why? Bad break-up or something?" Gwen looked upset by it, and even if Suzy didn't want to admit it, she never liked to see people upset. "You alright there, Marie?"

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Gwen considered herself to be a social bunny, and she really loved talking to different people and getting to know people better. She talked to everyone, older, younger, boys, girls... it didn't matter to her, so long as they weren't mean in return. Some people seemed to think that sociable had other meanings, but that wasn't the case. Gwen know some people who couldn't seem to go five minutes without diving into bed with someone new, and she most certainly was not that girl. So what if she had guy friends? It didn't mean there was anything else going on behind that.

Even girls like Suzy, who had known Gwen for 6 years, still seemed to get caught up in the gossip chain and rumors that seemed to think she was just like all those other girls, and as much as Gwen didn't want to let the words take effect, she had to admit to the deep-set feeling of 'what can I do?' and hopelessness at not knowing how to change people's opinions of her. She was in no way fake or anything, she was just herself. And that involved being chatty, not sl*tty.

"Why? Bad break-up or something? You alright there, Marie?"

Gwen glanced out of the window. "I wouldn't call it...bad. Just... awkward. I mean, we managed to get along for Quidditch sake, but we didn't talk afterwards and it made things sort of weird. It wasn't some kind of horrible heart-breaker break-up or anything with really bad terms, and we have been around each other since... I really don't know why it seemed so strange to talk to him just now." She found herself rambling on and on, not even sure whether she was making sense or not.  Her mind was still racing a mile a minute, and she had a tendency to get carried away once she started talking.

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Suzanne was not te outmost expert on relationships, or human emotions or anything of the sort. She's never had a boyfriend but has probably snogged more people than Gwen, yet didn't seem to have been given a bad name for it. She was a weird girl to figure out, but one thing that was pretty transparent about her, was her social ineptness. She did not get relationships nor got involved with them. So when Gwendolynn Marie vented her emotions to the girl, she hardly knew what she was supposed to do. Basics, step one; listen. She did that much and it was obvious Gwen was upset by the break-up, even if it didn't end on bad terms or anything. Suzy shifted in her seat.

"Well," Suzy said, trying to find words. "I'm guessing - and hardly from experience - that you might miss him? And it's the end of the year, so maybe talking to him now, knowing you wouldn't see him for a long time, I don't know, affected you..." Did that make sense? She shrugged slightly, playing with her hands in her lap.

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Gwendolynn sat back in her seat and stared out the window for a few moments, watching as trees and fields flashed by, leaving Hogwarts school further and further behind. She couldn't wait for the summer. Especially for the world cup that would be taking place. She wasn't going to miss it for the world. Even now she could already start to picture what it was going to be like.

"I'm guessing - and hardly from experience - that you might miss him? And it's the end of the year, so maybe talking to him now, knowing you wouldn't see him for a long time, I don't know, affected you..." 

Suzy looked uncomfortable just talking about it. The girl was better know for shooting witty comebacks and insults around, not dishing out advice, so it was sort of understandable that she didn't sound too confident in what she was saying. Gwen shot her a smile though, grateful for her effort.  "I might not see him at all... There's a lot of people leave who I might never see again, and next year we'll be the ones leaving. It's a year away but it's a terrifying thought, isn't it?" She'd managed to forget about Cal completely in that utterance, but moving away from the topic wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Did she miss Cal? Maybe a little, but it had been long enough now that she was over it, and it was a thing of the past.

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As she played with her hands in her lap, she remembered about the cigarette there and clenched one of her fists around it. She's completely forgotten with Gwen acting as a distraction... That really was all she needed; a distraction, something to take presedence over lighting it up and taking a deep breath of smoke. Even if Gwen did irritate her at time, it wasn't exactly throwing herself in front of a bus, like smoking was. Sure, the bus wasn't very fast, but smoking would definitely have the same effect after time. Suzy looked at Gwen as she spoke.

"I might not see him at all... There's a lot of people leave who I might never see again, and next year we'll be the ones leaving. It's a year away but it's a terrifying thought, isn't it?"

Then there was that little hurdle. Suzy still didn't have the faintest idea what she wanted to do after her last year at Hogwarts. "Probably depends on what you have planned," she replied, quickly rising from her seat, sliding up one of the small windows on top of the big one in the compartment and unclenched her fist, letting the cigarette fly away. It had been the last in the packet, and hopefully her last in a long time. The brunette sat down again and turned her attention back to the Quidditch Captain. "Bet you've got big plans," she stated more than asked, sliding down the seat so she sat on the top of her backside, almost on her back. She put her booted feet on the seats opposite her, crossing them at the ankles and keeping them an ample distance from Gwen. She didn't want to think what would happen if she got her pretty outfit dirty. All soft and girly, while Suzy's consisted mostly of leather and denim.

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Gwen found herself thinking about what she was going to do when she left school so many times it was unreal, and every time she seemed to have some slightly different plan, and each time over the years she'd always came to the same conclusion that she still had loads of time to think about it because there was ages until she finished school. And now there wasn't loads of time, because in exactly a year shed be the one sitting on this train as a graduate, and if she wanted to have any hope of getting some sort of job she was going to have to start applying to them well in advance, and securing her place before everyone else started snatching them up.

"Probably depends on what you have planned. Bet you've got big plans,"

She watched as Suzy stood and dropped something out of the window the sat back down, slouched back in her seat with her feet up not far from here Gwen sat. "I'm not too sure... I'm trying to decide whether it's worth trying to apply to play for one of the quidditch teams, but I'm not sure. I mean, maybe if I get captain next year the I will because that looks great on an application, but with Cal being captain this year I doubt it. I mean, there are plenty of good players to choose from." If by some stroke of look she did get the badge then she would definitely consider it, but she'd probably have to apply to some other kinds of jobs as a backup plan. 

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Gwen didn't ask questions. Good. Suzy hated questions. Even if Gwen did have the tendency to babble on about her life, atleast she wasn't intruding into Suzy's. She was grateful for that.

"I'm not too sure... I'm trying to decide whether it's worth trying to apply to play for one of the quidditch teams, but I'm not sure. I mean, maybe if I get captain next year the I will because that looks great on an application, but with Cal being captain this year I doubt it."

The Ravenclaw couldn't help but scoff, amused. "Right. The chances of you not getting Quidditch Captain is the same as me getting Head Girl. You're Captain, it's gonna happen, deal with it." Suzy did enjoy Quidditch and did watch the games if there wasn't anything better to do, which there usually wasn't. She only knew positions and focused on the game, only knowing what she needed to follow what was going on. The fact that she didn't know this past year's Ravenclaw team captain was irrelevant, since she knew his surname and position. Plus, if someone was good at something, they should be told.

Suzy suddenly craved something to eat. Dammit. This always happened when she put a cigarette down. She needed to do something with herself - simply sitting and talking was hardly stimulating her enough.

"I mean, there are plenty of good players to choose from," she continued and Suzy couldn't help as the side of her mouth twitched into a tiny smile.

"If all Quidditch players thought they weren't good enough, we wouldn't have anyone playing professional, would we?" she asked, rhetorically, raising her dark eyebrows as she looked at Gwen.

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"Right. The chances of you not getting Quidditch Captain is the same as me getting Head Girl. You're Captain, it's gonna happen, deal with it."

"It's ultimately Cal's decision." She'd heard that the captains had a say into who would take over the position once they left school, and she doubted Cal would have suggested her for the part, especially not when he had other friends on the team that he'd got along better with over the last few months than her.

There was no reason she couldn't hope to become the next captain, but she just figured the chances were slim. Similarly, she could hope that her prefect position would make her Head Girl next year, but it felt like there was an equally as slim chance of that happening as her becoming team captain.

"If all Quidditch players thought they weren't good enough, we wouldn't have anyone playing professional, would we?"

"The difference is that there are lots that know they are good enough and make sure everyone knows it. I don't think I'm capable of acting that level of arrogant to compare to them." Maybe that was being a little judgmental, but she knew some of the sorts who were determined they were going to play for a team, and they were confident to the point of arrogant most of the time. 

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"It's ultimately Cal's decision." Mmm. Her modesty wasn't fake. It wasn't that attention seeking 'oh, look at me, I'm so ugly, let me fish for compliments' type of modest. She really doubted she was going to be Captain. Strange. Suzy found this really strange. Gwen talked a lot - weren't people who talk a lot very confident?

"And this Cal bloke obviously knows you, so I can't see why he would decide against it," Suzy answered, as-a-matter-of-factly. "You'd probably get Head Girl, too, Miss Prefect. Lily Evans point two."

"The difference is that there are lots that know they are good enough and make sure everyone knows it. I don't think I'm capable of acting that level of arrogant to compare to them."

Suzy chuckled. That, in itself, was rare. "You mean like Potter?" Before mentioned Lily Evans' boyfriend (a shocker to all) was well-known for his wicked Quidditch skills and arrogance, although the latter seemed to have died down because of Lily. "Oh, come on, Gwen, I don't even like you all that much and I'd admit you're a great Quidditch player." Probably only Suzy could get away with saying something like that, people generally knowing she didn't mean it. Not all that much.

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"And this Cal bloke obviously knows you, so I can't see why he would decide against it. You'd probably get Head Girl, too, Miss Prefect. Lily Evans point two."

It was nice that Suzy had so much belief in her, but Gwen thought the whole idea was crazy. If she was lucky, she might get one or the other, and she felt that Quidditch Captain was more attainable than Head Girl, and she had such doubts about that because of Cal. Basically, she doubted it. "Thanks for the vote of confidence Suzy, but I hardly think I'll be the one replacing Lily. That girl's leaving some pretty bit foot steps to fill." Gwen had been able to work with Lily quite a bit over the last few years that she'd been a prefect, and Lily had been, by far, the most active and involved Head that she'd known. She really had been a great leader. 

"You mean like Potter? Oh, come on, Gwen, I don't even like you all that much and I'd admit you're a great Quidditch player."

Gwen laughed, and shook her head. Typical Suzy. "All those nice things you just said about me, and then you go and say that!" She still had a smile on her face even as she shook her head - Suzy was an odd one at times, that was for sure. "I might consider applying to play professionally, but only if I get Captain, otherwise it'd hardly be worth trying. What are you planning to do after next year, anyway?" She looked at Suzy curiously. She really was a difficult girl to figure out, and it made trying to picture Suzy with a particular job quite challenging. 

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"Thanks for the vote of confidence Suzy, but I hardly think I'll be the one replacing Lily. That girl's leaving some pretty bit foot steps to fill."

Suzy couldn't help but roll her eyes. Fine, she gives up, if she didn't want to believe, Suzy was going to stop trying. Bloody girl. As for Lily, Suzy thought she might be some genetically mutated being come to put the rest of the universe to shame. Honestly, who was allowed to be flawlessly beautiful, intelligent and have a hot boyfriend all at the same time? Oh, and without being pigheaded. Dammit, Suzy was unsure she was or would have any of that. Aw, well. Life favours some people. Like Gwen, for example, who was a popular smart pretty girl who could have any guy she wanted. And any future. Suzy wasn't so sure. "Whatever, then," Suzy replied, pulling off her leather jacket and throwing it onto the seat next to her. It was getting hot and if there was one thing she hates, it was getting hot.

Next thing she knew, Gwen was laughing. Suzy raised a dark eyebrow. "What now?" Suzy was starting to question the girl's sanity. She had just said she didn't like her and she was laughing about it..? Okay...

"I might consider applying to play professionally, but only if I get Captain, otherwise it'd hardly be worth trying. What are you planning to do after next year, anyway?"

Suzy shifted in her seat. Wasn't it curious that she was more certain of Gwen's future than her own? "Well," she started, to break the pause she'd taken in uncertainty and to think of what to say. "I guess I'd like to act." She admitted, surprising herself. Yes, she did enjoy lying quite a lot, and wasn't that basically acting? She wasn't shy, but still, to actually get there was a massive stretch. Back to her usual self, Suzy chuckle at herself, shaking her head. "Which is ridiculous and why I have Plan B which mainly involves criminal activities it would be stupid to blurt out to you right now. You know, in case of a court case, and all," Suzy said, one side of her mouth up in a smile to show that she was joking.