Post by Ryan Olsen on Jun 19, 2014 18:06:43 GMT
Araya Isa Olsen
Basics
| Full Name: Araya Isa Olsen | Nickname: Ryan Isaac |
| Age: Fourteen | Birthday: January 29th |
| Bloodtype: Halfblood | House: Hufflepuff |
| Year: Fourth | Home Town: Glasgow, Scotland |
| Sexuality: It's complicated | Loyalty: Neutral but will turn to the Order |
| Wand Wood/Length: Hazel, 11" | Wand Core: Phoenix Feather |
| Played by: | Jayce. 19, England |
Appearance
| Eye Color: Blue | Hair Color: Blond dyed black |
| Height/Build: Average height, boyish | Play-By: Bex Taylor-Klaus |
Ryan started Hogwarts as a young girl with long blond hair and blue eyes, always wearing clothes that were baggy and loose, struggling each day with an identity and an expectation that didn't belong to her. She would tell people to call her Ryan and they would look at her like she was crazy, then keep calling her Araya. Some days she would get up and take a look in the mirror, then just crawl straight back into bed again, crying under her covers while everyone else headed to class. In frustration, Araya took a pair of scissors to her own hair shortly after she returned to school after Christmas, making a complete mess of her hair, but at least it was short and that was all she cared about.
She let it grow out over the rest of the year, and her mother took her to get it cut neater over the summer. It was short and that was all that mattered to her. She returned to school with a little more confidence and self-acceptance than she had the year before, but still she felt like she had little control over how she presented herself. For Christmas, she told her mother that all she wanted was to be able to go clothes shopping and pick out her own choice of clothes, and her mother agreed. Ryan returned to school with clothes she felt much more comfortable in, and left a lot of her others at home.
The day before she returned for her third year, Ryan dyed her hair black, and hid a few spare dyes in her bag so she could keep it that way. She'd acquired more clothes of her own choosing by then, and her hair had been clipped even shorter, and Ryan felt more comfortable. Of course, third year also brought different changes for Ryan - puberty. If she'd felt uncomfortable before it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. Puberty was everything Ryan hated, and everything she didn't want. It wasn't right, and it was making her into something she wasn't supposed to be. She fell into self harm to keep herself going as each day passed by, but it didn't help.
After Christmas of third year, Ryan flipped out and lost it, screaming that it was RYAN and STOP calling her that stupid, horrible girl name! It wasn't right and it wasn't her. Heck! Ryan didn't even like the use of 'her' or 'she'. At that point in time Ryan started referring to herself with male pronouns. It caused a few problems in the dorms, but Ryan just shut out the girls around him and kept to himself.
Heading into fourth year, Ryan's hair is short on the sides and longer on the top, in a pretty typical boy style, and he's started binding his chest to flatten it, trying to hide what he deems to be perhaps the worst effect of puberty. His clothing is typically boys clothes, or gender neutral clothes, and it's taking a darker turn, with lots of black, and one much loved leather jacket making regular reappearances.
She let it grow out over the rest of the year, and her mother took her to get it cut neater over the summer. It was short and that was all that mattered to her. She returned to school with a little more confidence and self-acceptance than she had the year before, but still she felt like she had little control over how she presented herself. For Christmas, she told her mother that all she wanted was to be able to go clothes shopping and pick out her own choice of clothes, and her mother agreed. Ryan returned to school with clothes she felt much more comfortable in, and left a lot of her others at home.
The day before she returned for her third year, Ryan dyed her hair black, and hid a few spare dyes in her bag so she could keep it that way. She'd acquired more clothes of her own choosing by then, and her hair had been clipped even shorter, and Ryan felt more comfortable. Of course, third year also brought different changes for Ryan - puberty. If she'd felt uncomfortable before it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. Puberty was everything Ryan hated, and everything she didn't want. It wasn't right, and it was making her into something she wasn't supposed to be. She fell into self harm to keep herself going as each day passed by, but it didn't help.
After Christmas of third year, Ryan flipped out and lost it, screaming that it was RYAN and STOP calling her that stupid, horrible girl name! It wasn't right and it wasn't her. Heck! Ryan didn't even like the use of 'her' or 'she'. At that point in time Ryan started referring to herself with male pronouns. It caused a few problems in the dorms, but Ryan just shut out the girls around him and kept to himself.
Heading into fourth year, Ryan's hair is short on the sides and longer on the top, in a pretty typical boy style, and he's started binding his chest to flatten it, trying to hide what he deems to be perhaps the worst effect of puberty. His clothing is typically boys clothes, or gender neutral clothes, and it's taking a darker turn, with lots of black, and one much loved leather jacket making regular reappearances.
Personality
| Likes: Owls Ice cream Sport Outdoors Running Freedom Coping Acceptance Girls Passing | Dislikes: Dungeons Citrus Homework Discrimination Not being accepted Being called Araya Being 'outed' Her body Her voice Cigarettes |
| Positive Traits: Althletic Daring Reflective | Negative Traits: Pessimistic Fierce Untrusting |
| Quirks/Habits: Drinks/smokes/self-harms Shuts people off Bites her nails | Best/Worst Class: BEST: Care of Magical Creatures WORST: Astronomy |
Ryan, although born female, does not identify as a girl at all. Nor, for that matter, does he identify fully as male, though he prefers male pronouns, name, and clothing. Ryan likes gender fluid, or gender queer, if there needs to be a label applied to his identity. He is reluctant to use the term 'transgender' out loud, even though it is the most accurate categorization, he just doesn't like the negativity associated with the word in an unaccepting society.
The older Ryan gets, the more closed off he is from those around him, not trusting anyone, and not willing to share his problems and his feelings with anyone who he doesn't completely trust, and those people are few and far between. If Ryan has a problem, he's more likely to go to his cousin, Ash with things. Ash is the one person that Ryan knows he can trust.
Very early, Ryan started self-harming as a coping mechanism to deal with everything and his hatred of his own body, and he more recently discovered that alcohol is equally as good at numbing the pain when he can get his hands on the stuff. He smokes, too, and is in something of a love/hate relationship with cigarettes because Ryan also loves sports and running.
Ryan, more than anything, just wants to feel comfortable inside his own skin, and despite everything he currently does, it's hard for him to ever forget the fact that he's still in that despised female body. He's lucky in the sense that he didn't turn out overly curvy around his hips and stuff, but his body is still female and he hates it. His binder is his life these days, though he'd love to not have to wear it. There are also times when Ryan's dysphoria gets so bad that he goes further, even as far as packing, just to try and feel more comfortable. He's stopped caring what people think of him, but he always very aware of what people are saying around him, and how often they are questioning his identity.
Perhaps the most surprising thing when you meet Ryan is realizing that he's a Hufflepuff. Even just from his appearance these days he doesn't exactly look like your typical Badger, but the house is more fitting for him that you might realize. When you get past the fact that he throws up barriers with people and doesn't open up easily, he's actually a really nice person. He's selfless and will do almost anything for his friends, once you've finally proved yourself to be a friend. Behind the cold mask, there's a really nice guy, despite all his problems that he tries not to let other people know about.
The older Ryan gets, the more closed off he is from those around him, not trusting anyone, and not willing to share his problems and his feelings with anyone who he doesn't completely trust, and those people are few and far between. If Ryan has a problem, he's more likely to go to his cousin, Ash with things. Ash is the one person that Ryan knows he can trust.
Very early, Ryan started self-harming as a coping mechanism to deal with everything and his hatred of his own body, and he more recently discovered that alcohol is equally as good at numbing the pain when he can get his hands on the stuff. He smokes, too, and is in something of a love/hate relationship with cigarettes because Ryan also loves sports and running.
Ryan, more than anything, just wants to feel comfortable inside his own skin, and despite everything he currently does, it's hard for him to ever forget the fact that he's still in that despised female body. He's lucky in the sense that he didn't turn out overly curvy around his hips and stuff, but his body is still female and he hates it. His binder is his life these days, though he'd love to not have to wear it. There are also times when Ryan's dysphoria gets so bad that he goes further, even as far as packing, just to try and feel more comfortable. He's stopped caring what people think of him, but he always very aware of what people are saying around him, and how often they are questioning his identity.
Perhaps the most surprising thing when you meet Ryan is realizing that he's a Hufflepuff. Even just from his appearance these days he doesn't exactly look like your typical Badger, but the house is more fitting for him that you might realize. When you get past the fact that he throws up barriers with people and doesn't open up easily, he's actually a really nice person. He's selfless and will do almost anything for his friends, once you've finally proved yourself to be a friend. Behind the cold mask, there's a really nice guy, despite all his problems that he tries not to let other people know about.
History
| Bithplace: Glasgow, Scotland | Current Residence: Glasgow, Scotland |
| Parents: Admon/38/halfblood/Researcher (father) Adrianna/37/halfblood/Store Owner (mother) Garrett Howard/42/Pureblood/Ministry Worker (step father) | Siblings: link Adina/17/halfblood/Ravenclaw Aydan/15/halfblood/Ravenclaw |
| Others: Ash Olsen/15/Cousin/Squib | Pet: Great Grey Owl ~ Soren |
Araya Isa Olsen was born January 29th, the third born child of Admon and Adrianna Olsen. They were an ordinary family; parents, three kids, small three bedroom house in Glasgow, about a mile out of the city center, but with just enough grassland around to give the local kids somewhere to run free and have fun, so long as they didn't get too close to the forest on the north side, or the road on the east.
Ryan's childhood was pretty normal, even if he was always wanting to play with her brother's toy, and never showed an interest in girly things, or the toys his sister passed down to him. His parents used to just shrug it of as being because Aydan was only a year older, so they got along better than what Araya did with Adina, as there were three years between them. Whenever Ryan would say he was a boy they would just shrug it off as him being a child who knew no better.
As Ryan got older, his views on his own identity didn't really waver all that much, and Admon grew increasingly frustrated with the fact that his youngest child was rebelling against her appropriate gender role and expectation. He tried to enforce femininity and female roles onto him, forcing him to wear dresses and pink thing, and physically removing any 'boy' toys that he picked up. Anything that wasn't a 'girl' thing he was scolded for. Adrianna could see how unhappy her youngest child was and tried to insist that Admon back off a bit and just let Ryan be a child, but that only led to fighting, and eventually, when Ryan was seven, the pair separated. Ryan has never stopped feeling like it was his fault for not being 'normal' and not being able to be the child they wanted.
It was those feelings that made him try and just accept the role that was expected of him, not complaining and fighting back. Adrianna didn't try and influence Araya either way at that time. Ryan wasn't happy, especially not with still being call Araya all the time, but he just accepted things for what they had to be. He was far too young at that time to know what it meant to be gender fluid, or gender queer, or even transgender.
When he was ten, Adrienna met and married a man called Garrett Howard, who was five years her senior. At first he seemed fine, but he was also quiet strict about gender roles and expectations of each of Adrianna's kids. The best way to describe Garrett was a 'control freak'. By that point, Adina was already in school and Aydan was just starting his first year, which left only Araya at home and having to deal with him all the time. He was just as bad as what her father was for trying to enforce 'girly things' onto him.
None of the three siblings liked Garrett, and Adina and Aydan would split their holidays between at home with their mother and Garrett, and at their dad's house near Loch Ness. Admon, however, wouldn't allow Araya to visit unless he was 'normal', and no amount of pretending was good enough for him. It only made Ryan feel worse and worse about who and what he was.
Ryan's relationship with his siblings had always been rocky. Ryan and Adina had never got along well, because Adina thought it was 'horrible' that Araya wasn't 'girl enough' and she thought the boyish act was made her stupid and ugly. Aydan, on the other hand, was okay with Ryan up until the point when Ryan cut his hair midway through his first year to be more boyish.
Ryan had mixed feelings about starting Hogwarts. On one hand, he was desperate to get away from home and away from Garrett, but on the other hand it was just going to be another identity battle. He wasn't a girl, goddamnit! But no one was ever going to be willing to see that. To much surprise, Ryan was sorted into Hufflepuff, away from his Ravenclaw siblings. Thankfully.
In first year Ryan cut his hair short, though messily, and he was happier with it that was even if it didn't look good since he'd hacked it off himself. He'd tried to get people to call him Ryan but they weren't having it. It seemed that they weren't going to accept Ryan as a nickname of Araya, so they tried calling him Raya, Ray, or Ara, but he refused them all. It was Ryan, or nothing.
Over summer, his mother took him to get his hair cut properly, which made him feel much better for a while, even if he had to go back home and hear more crap from Garrett about how 'young ladies shouldn't have short hair because it's not appealing to men', like he cared about boys liking him at twelve years old? Pft! It made him start to question whether he did like boys, but eventually dropped it as a subject to worry about at a later date.
At Christmas, Adrianna asked Ryan what he wanted for Christmas, and he said he just wanted to be able to pick new clothes for himself, completely of his own choice, and she agreed, sneaking the two of them away clothes shopping one day, making sure that Garrett didn't know what was going on. Adrianna was accepting of Ryan whatever he wanted to wear and look like, though at that point she couldn't call Ryan anything aside from Araya.
Third year was by far the worst year for Ryan. It started off good - he'd dyed his hair black and cut it shorter, and he had more clothing of his choice. For a while it really felt like he had control of himself and his identity, but then puberty hit. Every horrible, nightmare hit at once, and it was hell for Ryan. Perhaps he didn't identify completely as a boy, and preferred gender queer/fluid, but he most certainly did not identity as female, and did not want the changes that puberty was bringing. He fell into self harming as a coping mechanism to deal with everything. He stopped doing everything he loved - sport and running, for starters, and hated having to even leave the dorm. Eventually he discovered binding, and though he had to use makeshift binders at first, it was something more than nothing. He'd started referring to himself by male pronouns at that point, and flipped out at people at one point, refusing to respond to anything other than Ryan. He even faced down a few of his Professor's that called students by their first names, and said he was Ryan, or no name at all. Not all of them took too kindly to that. It was towards the end of third year that Ryan started smoking, and drinking whenever he could get his hands on alcohol. Which, around the Hufflepuff common room, is actually easier than one might think.
During the summer before fourth year, Ryan got hold of a proper binder, which completely flattened his chest, and he's never loved an item as much as he does that binder. It's literally his life now. With it, he feels comfortable enough to return to sport and running, which he loves, and with a wardrobe that is increasingly reflecting his identity, it's slowly getting easy to pass for who he wants to be, even if the people around him don't always want to accept him for who he is.
Ryan's childhood was pretty normal, even if he was always wanting to play with her brother's toy, and never showed an interest in girly things, or the toys his sister passed down to him. His parents used to just shrug it of as being because Aydan was only a year older, so they got along better than what Araya did with Adina, as there were three years between them. Whenever Ryan would say he was a boy they would just shrug it off as him being a child who knew no better.
As Ryan got older, his views on his own identity didn't really waver all that much, and Admon grew increasingly frustrated with the fact that his youngest child was rebelling against her appropriate gender role and expectation. He tried to enforce femininity and female roles onto him, forcing him to wear dresses and pink thing, and physically removing any 'boy' toys that he picked up. Anything that wasn't a 'girl' thing he was scolded for. Adrianna could see how unhappy her youngest child was and tried to insist that Admon back off a bit and just let Ryan be a child, but that only led to fighting, and eventually, when Ryan was seven, the pair separated. Ryan has never stopped feeling like it was his fault for not being 'normal' and not being able to be the child they wanted.
It was those feelings that made him try and just accept the role that was expected of him, not complaining and fighting back. Adrianna didn't try and influence Araya either way at that time. Ryan wasn't happy, especially not with still being call Araya all the time, but he just accepted things for what they had to be. He was far too young at that time to know what it meant to be gender fluid, or gender queer, or even transgender.
When he was ten, Adrienna met and married a man called Garrett Howard, who was five years her senior. At first he seemed fine, but he was also quiet strict about gender roles and expectations of each of Adrianna's kids. The best way to describe Garrett was a 'control freak'. By that point, Adina was already in school and Aydan was just starting his first year, which left only Araya at home and having to deal with him all the time. He was just as bad as what her father was for trying to enforce 'girly things' onto him.
None of the three siblings liked Garrett, and Adina and Aydan would split their holidays between at home with their mother and Garrett, and at their dad's house near Loch Ness. Admon, however, wouldn't allow Araya to visit unless he was 'normal', and no amount of pretending was good enough for him. It only made Ryan feel worse and worse about who and what he was.
Ryan's relationship with his siblings had always been rocky. Ryan and Adina had never got along well, because Adina thought it was 'horrible' that Araya wasn't 'girl enough' and she thought the boyish act was made her stupid and ugly. Aydan, on the other hand, was okay with Ryan up until the point when Ryan cut his hair midway through his first year to be more boyish.
Ryan had mixed feelings about starting Hogwarts. On one hand, he was desperate to get away from home and away from Garrett, but on the other hand it was just going to be another identity battle. He wasn't a girl, goddamnit! But no one was ever going to be willing to see that. To much surprise, Ryan was sorted into Hufflepuff, away from his Ravenclaw siblings. Thankfully.
In first year Ryan cut his hair short, though messily, and he was happier with it that was even if it didn't look good since he'd hacked it off himself. He'd tried to get people to call him Ryan but they weren't having it. It seemed that they weren't going to accept Ryan as a nickname of Araya, so they tried calling him Raya, Ray, or Ara, but he refused them all. It was Ryan, or nothing.
Over summer, his mother took him to get his hair cut properly, which made him feel much better for a while, even if he had to go back home and hear more crap from Garrett about how 'young ladies shouldn't have short hair because it's not appealing to men', like he cared about boys liking him at twelve years old? Pft! It made him start to question whether he did like boys, but eventually dropped it as a subject to worry about at a later date.
At Christmas, Adrianna asked Ryan what he wanted for Christmas, and he said he just wanted to be able to pick new clothes for himself, completely of his own choice, and she agreed, sneaking the two of them away clothes shopping one day, making sure that Garrett didn't know what was going on. Adrianna was accepting of Ryan whatever he wanted to wear and look like, though at that point she couldn't call Ryan anything aside from Araya.
Third year was by far the worst year for Ryan. It started off good - he'd dyed his hair black and cut it shorter, and he had more clothing of his choice. For a while it really felt like he had control of himself and his identity, but then puberty hit. Every horrible, nightmare hit at once, and it was hell for Ryan. Perhaps he didn't identify completely as a boy, and preferred gender queer/fluid, but he most certainly did not identity as female, and did not want the changes that puberty was bringing. He fell into self harming as a coping mechanism to deal with everything. He stopped doing everything he loved - sport and running, for starters, and hated having to even leave the dorm. Eventually he discovered binding, and though he had to use makeshift binders at first, it was something more than nothing. He'd started referring to himself by male pronouns at that point, and flipped out at people at one point, refusing to respond to anything other than Ryan. He even faced down a few of his Professor's that called students by their first names, and said he was Ryan, or no name at all. Not all of them took too kindly to that. It was towards the end of third year that Ryan started smoking, and drinking whenever he could get his hands on alcohol. Which, around the Hufflepuff common room, is actually easier than one might think.
During the summer before fourth year, Ryan got hold of a proper binder, which completely flattened his chest, and he's never loved an item as much as he does that binder. It's literally his life now. With it, he feels comfortable enough to return to sport and running, which he loves, and with a wardrobe that is increasingly reflecting his identity, it's slowly getting easy to pass for who he wants to be, even if the people around him don't always want to accept him for who he is.
Sample
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Made by Jaycie
